The Rite of the 7-11 Pizza

For centuries, the ancient order of the prophets of the apocalypse has been preparing for this moment. The moment when the world's pizza cravings would align with the celestial alignments of the cosmos. And what better way to do it than by summoning the power of the 7-11 Pizza?

Legend has it that the first prophet, Zorvath, received a vision from the pizza gods, guiding him in the art of crafting the perfect pie. With every topping, with every slice, he was able to tap into the very essence of the universe.

Today, we continue this tradition, as we gather 'round the sacred altar of the 7-11 Pizza.

The Ritual

Step 1: Gather the ingredients. The freshest vegetables, the creamiest sauce, the cheesiest cheese.

Step 2: Consecrate the oven. Purify it with the sacred flames of the microwave.

Step 3: Anoint the dough with the holy oil of the olive oil.

Step 4: Call upon the spirits of the toppings. Pepperoni, mushrooms, extra cheese, the lot.

Step 5: Place the sacrifice upon the altar, and offer it to the gods of the taste buds.

The Rewards

Those who have completed the rite shall be granted the power to see the truth behind the menu. To know that the 'meat lovers' pizza is actually just a bunch of sausages in a circle.

To know that the 'hawaiian' pizza is not actually from Hawaii, but from a small village in the Carpathian mountains.

And to know that the 'cheese lovers' pizza is actually just a bunch of gouda.

Step 6: The Veil of the Sauce Step 7: The Revalation of the Olive Oil